Countdown
by MyPassionateMusician
Summary: Jude is running from her life, but what will happen when she hits a deadend? The only person that can help her is the one man that caused it all. COMPLETE!
1. You're Cheating Heart

Hey everyone...I got this idea in..you guessed it..history class. I saw this book at a bookstore called Countdown, and I read the summary. So it's not really based on the book, but the title is. So I hope you like it. It's very dramatic, tragic, and a lot of romance...so read and review please!

Disclaimer: I do not own the book Countdown anything dealing with Instant Star.

**_

* * *

_**

Chapter 1: You're Cheating Heart

I can't remember when it all started, but I remember how. How my world came crashing down. When I knew nothing would be okay again. When I know, the countdown had begun for the end of my life. I just didn't know how close it was to zero, until I collapsed on the cold, wet, cement.

I guess I should tell you this story from the beginning. I'm not sure when it was; maybe, a couple years, a couple of months ago. All I know is that I was in the studio with my boyfriend Tommy. Excuse me, now known as ex-boyfriend. Anyway, we were sitting on the seats while he was mixing my latest songs and I was bored.

Jude: Are you almost done?

Tommy: Hold on, I'm trying to make it just right.

Jude: Well hurry up. You said you had a birthday surprise for me and I don't think I can wait any longer.

Tommy: Listen, "Miss I'm 20 now so I have no patience". You'll get your surprise right after I'm done. I promise.

Jude: Fine, I'm going to get some pop. You want anything?

Tommy: No thanks sweetie.

I leaned in and kissed him and made my way to hospitality. I got my pop and I started to read the paper that was left on the counter. I turned to page 8 where the top ten songs were listed. Last week I was number 4, this week I was number 1. I smiled widely. My song had only been out 3 weeks and it already hit number 1 on the charts. I ran back to Studio 1 and almost tripped over one of the wires on the floor.

Tommy: Whoa, be careful. What's the rush?

Jude: I'm number 1! My song Sweet Hearts! It hit number 1!

Tommy: Congratulations!

Tommy stood up from his chair and gave me a big hug and a light kiss on the cheek. I sat down and kept looking as I threw my empty can in the trash. When Tommy was finally done, he took my hand and led me to his hummer. As we drove it was pretty silent. I hate silence. So I turned on the radio. Sweet Hearts blasted through the speakers. Tommy and I started to sing along.

_I've met some different hearts_

_Standing strong 'til they fall apart_

_I guess there's no escaping_

_From all the hearts in this world that's existing_

_So many I've been through_

_So tell me baby what kind of heart are you_

_Smart hearts are always too shy_

_Brave hearts never stay by your side_

_Pure hearts always do what they should_

_Oh baby, that's no good_

_But once I met you, I know the truth_

_Sweet hearts are perfectly perfect for me_

We sang and laughed all the way home. Once we reached the door stepped he pulled out a bandana and blindfolded me. He led me inside and upstairs. I was so afraid I was going to bump into something but he led me safely into an unfamiliar room. When I was on tour for my senior album, he told me he was working on the house. I haven't seen it since I've been staying at Sadie's to help her with the new baby. So I figured I was in the new room. He took the blindfold off me and I almost fainted at what I saw.

Jude: Tommy, a home studio? This must've cost a fortune. How'd you…

Tommy: Don't worry about it. Do you like it?

Jude: Like it? I love it! Thank you.

I turned around and gave him a thank you kiss and a hug. I went inside and started playing with the keys.

Tommy: Happy Birthday girl.

Happy beginning right? Well, my life was pretty much perfect then. Sadie and Kwest were married with a beautiful baby boy named Austin, and I was on my 5th album and learning how to produce. I was also dating the guy of my dreams and we had a beautiful home. Nothing could possibly go bad, right? Wrong! My problems started a week after my birthday. For some reason I can't remember the date. But I know it happen 2 days after, or something like that.

I was just coming back form the studio. Tommy never came. He said he felt sick so Kwest took over. A whole day without Tommy was murder. I was eager to get home. I ran into my mustang and drove home as fast as I could. Once I got home the door was locked. I just figured he locked it so no one would come in incase he fell asleep. I fiddled with my keys and went inside. I climbed the stairs to our room thinking he was asleep. Well, I was right about him being in bed. But there was someone else with him, and they were kissing. A skinny, pretty-face, model-like, brunette was under him as he started to lift up her skirt. My eyes were filled with tears and I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Jude: No!

Tommy and his new lady friend stopped abruptly and that's when Tommy saw me. I ran out the door and was going into my car until I felt someone grab me. It was Tommy. He came out with his pants unbutton and no shirt.

Tommy: Jude, what are you doing home so early?

I couldn't believe what he just ask me.

Jude: What am I doing home so early? Tommy I find you in bed with another woman and you ask me what I'm doing home so early?

Tommy: Jude…

Jude: Tommy how could you? I thought you loved me!

Tommy: I do! But…but we never…you know.

I couldn't believe my ears. This guy was telling me that the reason he was cheating was because I never had sex with him!

Jude: Oh well, I'm sorry I don't open my legs every night for you. I'm sorry I wanted to wait!

I started to cry even harder. My tears wouldn't stop. He just stood there. I could tell that he had no idea how to respond to that. I just gave him a dirty look and went into my car. I tried close the door but he stopped it.

Tommy: Jude, wait! I'm sorry.

Jude: You're sorry? That's all you have to say?

Tommy: Jude, I love you, please don't leave.

I spun off and once I was on the road I shut my door. I drove for hours not knowing where I was going. To this day I can still see that image in my head. I stayed at my old house with my dad for…umm, I'm guessing 8 months. By then I had a new producer. His name was Adam Branch. He was sweet, sensitive, and incredibly hot. I hadn't talked to Tommy since, but apparently he dropped the brunette. He kept calling me but I would just ignore them. It was erally hard trying to get over him, but Adam helped me. Adam was 23 and he understood even better than Tommy. I knew I was falling for him. Why do I always fall for my producers? It was only 10 months, wait, yea, 10 months after me and Tommy but I couldn't help it. He had beautiful blonde rocker hair and gorgeous green eyes. He knew music, he could sing, and he could play any instrument imaginable.

One night at the studio, he was helping me write a song for my 5th album, and he kissed me. And from then on we started dating. Everything was coming together again, until I had a phone call from my dad. He said it was urgent. I drove home and found Sadie on the couch crying.

Jude: What's up?

Stuart: Jude, honey, sit down. I need to tell you something.

* * *

So how do you like it? Please review! Oh and incase you're confused about Jude. She can't remember when anything happened. So she's basically getting mixed up or guessing when everything was. Well..I'm off to write chapter 2... 


	2. Bruises and Scars

Okay, Chapter 2, this is where more drama occurs. I mean a lot more drama. Hoping to get more reviews, but thank you for those who did. Oh, and I except ideas and suggestion. This story is for you so I want to know what you want out of the story. Anyways, here's chapter 2.

Disclaimer: Do I really need to put this one every chapter?

* * *

Chapter 2: Bruises and Scars

Jude: What's up?

Stuart: Jude, honey, sit down. I need to tell you something.

Jude: What? What is it?

Stuart: Um, I really have no idea how to say this at all. There's no easy way really. Sadie, why don't you tell her the story?

Sadie looked at dad and then looked at me with tears falling down. She took a deep breath and started to tell her story.

Sadie: Um, Jude, I came home today because dad forgot to give me back the check I left for Kwest. He wasn't home so I started to look through his desk because I was in a hurry.

Jude: Okay, so?

Sadie: See, I kept looking and I found something in one of the drawers. It was papers with our names on it. I didn't know what it was at first so I started to flip through them.

She started to cry and I got extremely worried. What was so bad about a piece of paper with our names? Sadie couldn't go on. I looked at my dad with worried eyes. His head was hung in shame but I didn't know why.

Jude: Dad, what were the papers?

Stuart: Jude, the papers Sadie found, were adoption papers.

Jude: Adoption papers? Please, don't tell me that means what I think it means.

Stuart: Jude, you and Sadie are adopted.

Jude: What? How? How come you never told us?

Stuart: We didn't think it mattered.

Jude: Didn't think it mattered? So you're not my real dad and Sadie's not my real sister?

Stuart: No, you and Sadie are sisters; we adopted both of you together.

Sadie: How old were we?

Stuart: You had just turned 2 and Jude was just born.

Sadie shook her head and started to cry even harder now. I sat beside her and rubbed her back.

Jude: I can't believe you would do this dad. Oh, I'm sorry, Stuart.

Stuart: Listen, I'm sorry, but I still love you. You are still my daughters.

Jude: I'm going to pack my stuff. I'm moving in with Adam.

I grabbed Sadie and we left the house. She went to her house and Kwest was comforting her. As for me, I needed to go back to my da…Stuart to get my things. On my way there I called Adam and told him what was happening and why. He understood like I knew he would and by that night I was home with him.

Adam held me in his arms as I cried myself to sleep. Just when I thought everything was going so well again, it headed all downhill. I woke up to find that Adam wasn't beside me. I walked to the kitchen and he left a note saying that he had a meeting with Darius and Liam. My cell phone rang and I picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

Jude: Hello?

: Can't believe you actually picked up your phone.

It took me a while to figure the voice considering I was half asleep. But once I knew who it was my eyes went big.

Jude: Tommy?

Tommy: Hi.

Jude: What the hell are you doing calling me?

Tommy: I needed to talk to you. I still love you. I want to be "us" again.

Jude: Actually I'm pretty happy with Adam right now.

Tommy: Adam? Adam Branch, as in your producer?

Jude: Uh, yea. We've been dating for a while now. Sorry. Wait, scratch that, I'm not sorry.

Tommy: Jude, listen, you don't want to get involved with him. He's bad news.

Jude: Who do you think you are telling me who I can date? I think you're the one that was bad news. You're the one that cheated on me.

Tommy: I said I'm sorry, but he'll do much worse.

Jude: What do you know?

Tommy: I know plenty. Please just listen to me, Adam…

I hung up on him. I couldn't hear anymore of this bullshit he was feeding me. I went back to the bedroom and got dressed to go to the studio. I heard the phone ring again and I already knew it was Tommy. I ran back to the kitchen and picked up the phone ready to tell him off.

Jude: What Tommy?

Adam: Tommy?

Jude: Adam. Hey babe.

Uh-oh was all I was thinking. I hope he didn't think anything of it.

Adam: Why'd you think I was Tommy?

I could hear some anger in his voice that he was trying to control. I also heard that he was still in his car so he wasn't at the studio yet.

Jude: He called me about a minute ago, but I hung up on him.

Adam: He's still harassing you? That's it, he's dead!

Jude: Adam…

I heard a click. I grabbed my jacket and keys and ran out the door. I didn't want Adam and Tommy starting to get into a fight, especially at G-Major. I took a shortcut threw the park so I could get there before Adam. When I finally arrived Adam was just storming inside. I ran inside and grabbed his arm but he shook me off and kept walking to Studio 2 where Tommy was.

Jude: Adam, Adam, no. Listen to me!

He opened the door so hard that I swear the glass cracked. Tommy and Kwest turned to see Adam walking towards. Tommy got up quickly and started backing away.

Adam: You! How dare you even call her?

Tommy: What are you going to do, hit me? Then go ahead!

Adam: No problem!

Jude: Adam, please!

I ran right in the middle of them right when Adam raised his fist in there.

Jude: Adam, please, don't this.

Adam: Why are you protecting him?

Jude: It's not that, I just don't want you to do something you'll regret. Please, this isn't going to solve anything. I'll talk to him, just go back to Studio 1 and I'll meet you there.

I could see him calm down a bit and he gave me a light kiss making sure Tommy could see.

Adam: You stay away from her.

Tommy kept a stern and straight face as Adam walked out. I turned to face Tommy.

Tommy: Um, thanks.

My eyes were cold to him. He had to ruin everything.

Jude: Leave me alone. Don't call me, don't e-mail me, don't even think of me.

I turned away from him knowing I was breaking his heart, but he broke mine first. He had to know that I was over him. Adam had to know that I was over him. I had to know I was over him. I walked back in Studio 1 and saw Adam mixing one of my songs. I knew that's how he cooled off. I went over and draped my arms around his neck from behind.

Jude: It's taken care of.

Adam: Are you sure?

Jude: Yes, I'm sure. I appreciate what you were trying to do. I mean it was crazy and totally insane…

He laughed.

Jude: But it was sweet. Thank you.

Adam: Just promise one thing.

Jude: What's that?

Adam: Never talk to him again, or I you might not be able to stop next time.

I was a little surprised that he asked me that. But that shouldn't be too hard since I told Tommy to do the same with me. I nodded and we started to record again. Again, everything was going great. Tommy didn't talk to me once and Adam and I were celebrating our…um…6 month anniversary, I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, I was at the studio once again and was trying to get home as quickly as I could. I was about to walk out the door when someone called my name. I turned around and saw Tommy. I rolled my eyes and walked out. I went to my car but I heard footsteps running towards me.

Jude: I thought I told you not to talk to me anymore.

Tommy: I'm sorry Jude, but I just can't do that.

Jude: Don't you understand? I don't want you anymore. I don't need you anymore. We're over.

Tommy: I know, I know, but I can't just not have you in my life.

Jude: Wow, bad grammar. That's a way to win a woman's affection.

Tommy: I'm not trying to win your affection; I just want your friendship.

I scoffed.

Tommy: Please Jude, at least that.

I looked at him trying to figure out if this would have a downfall. I guess I wasn't really thinking then because I couldn't think of one. I nodded my head.

Jude: I guess, but strictly friends.

Tommy: That's all I'm asking.

He came over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Little known to me someone was watching us from his car. When I finally made it home I saw a dinner for two set up with a silver candle burning right in the middle. I smiled looking to see where Adam was. I saw him walking out of the bedroom and my smile wiped away quickly when I saw his anger. He started to walk towards me and I backed up a little bit scared.

Jude: Adam, what's wrong?

Adam: You.

Jude: What did I do?

Adam: What was that little thing with Tommy at G-Major? Huh?

Jude: What are you talking about?

That's when I knew things were just going to get worse. He slapped me so hard across the face that my keys and jacket fell out of my hands. I started to cry as I looked at him in shock.

Adam: You promised that you weren't going to talk to him anymore. Then I see you kissing him!

Jude: I didn't kiss him!

He grabbed both of my wrists and started to twist. I closed my eyes because of the pain.

Adam: Don't you dare talk back to me! I know what I saw!

Jude: Adam, please, stop. You're hurting me.

Adam let go and threw me against the wall and walked back to the bedroom. I heard him lock the door. I slid to the floor crying and wondering how such a sweet guy could be so cruel. I was scared, more scared then I have ever been. But it was my fault. I promised him I wouldn't talk to him anymore and I broke it. He had every right to be mad.

The next day I woke up and found myself on the couch. I still remembered what happened last night. I saw Adam standing above me and I tensed up suddenly and became tremendously frighten. But his eyes were soft.

Adam: Good morning.

I didn't say anything. I looked away and wrapped myself in the comforter that was covering me.

Adam: Listen, I'm sorry about last night. I was totally overreacting. I didn't mean to, it's just that…when I saw you with Tommy I thought I was losing you. I couldn't stand not being with you. Also, you promised me that you wouldn't talk to him again.

He knelt down next to me and I finally had the courage to look at him. There were tears in both of our eyes.

Adam: You know I would never hurt you.

Jude: I know, and I'm sorry about Tommy. He said that he wanted to be friends. That he needed my friendship. I think I need his. Listen, you're not losing me. I love you.

That was the first time I ever said that to him. I wasn't sure if it was totally true, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

Adam: I love you too. But I don't think it's a good idea to be friends with him.

Jude: Don't you trust me?

Adam: It's not you; it's him I don't trust. Please, you have plenty of friends, you don't need him.

Again, he was asking me something that I never would believe, but he deserved it and his eyes were about to shed tears. I kissed him with passion on the lips and smiled.

Jude: Alright, I won't. You're right, all I need is you.

I was getting dressed to go to the studio and I saw the fingerprints on my wrists and my back was hurting really bad. I turned around and saw the big bruise on my back. I wore wristbands to hide the bruises. Adam drove me to the studio. Right when we walked in Tommy smiled at me and walked up to us. Adam quickly put his arm around me.

Tommy: Good morning Jude.

I didn't say anything. I just looked away.

Tommy: Jude?

Adam: Um, Jude, why don't you go to Studio 1 and I'll meet you there.

Jude: Adam, don't do anything.

Adam: I won't I promise. I just want to talk to Tom here for a minute.

He pushed me lightly on my back and I winced in pain. I could tell Tommy noticed but I just kept on walking. I watched the two men yell back and forth and prayed to God that Adam wouldn't hit him or vice versa. I'm not sure what they were saying but it seemed like Tommy had enough and just walked away. _'Good for him'_ I thought. From what I know and experienced, Adam could do a number on him. Adam came in.

Adam: It's all settled. He won't bother you anymore Jude.

I smiled but I wasn't too sure if I liked that too much.

Adam: Ready?

Jude: Ready.

* * *

Well, wathca think? Hope ya'll liked it. Now review your brains out...type like you've never typed before. Um, yea...so click "Go" and stick around for more. 


	3. Bad Luck

Thank you all for your reviews. I'm kinda stuck on how to continue this. I know how to end it...I just need to figure out how to get there. So if any of you...and I mean any of you have any ideas please tell me in a review. So here's chapter 3. This is the first time I'm not using any of my own songs. I was just lazy. so here it is.

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or Before He Cheats, I Just Can't Live a Lie, and Whenever You Remember by Carrie Underwood.

* * *

Chapter 3: Bad Luck

_Right now, he's probably slow dancing with some bleach-blonde tramp _

_And she's probably getting frisky_

_Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink_

'_Cause she can't shoot the whiskey_

_Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick how to shoot a combo_

_And he don't know_

_That I dug my key in to the side _

_Of his pretty little supped up four-wheel drive_

_Carved my name into his leather seats_

_I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights_

_Slash a whole in all four tires_

_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_

_Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version _

_Of Shania Karaoke_

_Right now, she's probably saying I'm drunk_

_And he's thinking that's he's going to get lucky_

_Right now, he's probably dabbing 3 dollars worth _

_Of that bathroom cologne_

_And he don't know_

_That I dug my key in to the side _

_Of his pretty little supped up four-wheel drive_

_Carved my name into his leather seats_

_I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights_

_Slash a whole in all four tires_

_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_

_I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl_

'_Cause the next time that he cheats_

_Oh, you know, it won't be on me_

_No, not one me_

'_Cause I dug my key in to the side _

_Of his pretty little supped up four-wheel drive_

_Carved my name into his leather seats_

_I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights_

_Slash a whole in all four tires_

_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_

I finished my song and went out of the booth. I wrote that song a while ago, when I still hated Tommy. I didn't hate him anymore. I was mad, but I didn't hate him. I wanted to be his friend again. But with Adam breathing down my neck, I couldn't even look at him. I told Adam I was going to get a bottle of water. He said ok and went back to mixing. Once I was at hospitality, and just my luck, Tommy was there pouring himself a cup of coffee. I looked around making sure that Adam wasn't looking at me. He was too busy mixing so I decided this is my chance.

Jude: Sorry.

Tommy: Don't be. Adam's a jerk. So what are you doing talking to me? Won't Adam get mad?

Jude: I still want to be your friend Tommy.

Tommy: Really? By the way, nice song.

Jude: I wrote that when I still hated you. I don't hate you anymore. I need you're friendship Tom.

Tommy: I need yours too, but Adam…

Jude: Forget about Adam. Listen, I'll talk to him ok.

Tommy: Alright.

I went to get a bottle of water when Tommy patted my back. I winced and hissed. It still hurt.

Tommy: Are you okay?

Jude: Yea, I'm fine.

Tommy: What's wrong with you're back?

Jude: It's just a little sore.

Tommy: Sore?

Jude: Yea.

Tommy: Okay, I need to go back to my artist so…

Jude: Alright. Talk to you later?

Tommy: Sure, I'll meet you at the rehearsal space later.

Jude: See you then.

Just as Tommy left Adam came in. He saw Tommy leaving.

Adam: Were you talking to him?

Jude: Uh, yea, I was telling him to shut up and go away.

Adam: He's still bothering you.

Jude: No, he just wanted to know…how you and I were doing. I told him to shut up and he left.

Adam: That's my girl.

I smiled and he kissed me. I opened my eyes and saw Tommy looking at us with a frown. He looked away and walked back to the studio. I closed my eyes again and pulled away. He smiled at me and he embraced me.

Jude: Ow.

Adam: What's wrong?

Jude: Just my back.

Adam: That was from me wasn't it?

He looked so guilty, like he was really sorry about it.

Jude: Its okay, I'm fine.

Adam: I really am sorry.

Jude: Babe, stop. You're forgiven. Now lets see what you did to my song.

There are 3 dates that I remember. June 22, January 5, and April 13. I'll get to the other dates later. But June 22 was one of the biggest ones.

I was at my rehearsal space working on a new song. But the more and more I got into the song, the more I didn't want to record it. One reason, Adam. He might figure out that it's about Tommy and I. Okay, I know what you're thinking. But I just don't Adam to get mad again. We haven't been having any fights since that night and I didn't want to mess it up. And no, I wasn't falling for Tommy again. It was just something that popped in my head. I already had a name for it, a tune, and all I needed was one more line. I wrote it and it was done. I loved it. I heard a knock on the door and told them to come in. It was Tommy. We've been meeting here for a while. He thought I told Adam but I never did. Adam has no idea about our little meetings that we had.

Tommy: I heard you singing from down the hall. I like it, what is it.

Jude: Just a song.

Tommy: Well are you going to sing it or what?

Jude: I don't even think I'm going to record it.

Tommy: Oh, c'mon. Let me hear it.

Jude: No, that's okay.

Tommy: Jude.

Jude: Fine.

I started strumming and bolted out the words full of emotion.

_When you look back on times we had  
I hope you smile  
And know that through the good and through the bad  
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down  
We claimed the brightest star  
And we, we came so far  
And no they won't forget _

Whenever you remember times gone by  
Remember how we held our heads so high  
When all this world was there for us  
And we believe that we could touch the sky  
Whenever you remember, I'll be there  
Remember how we reached that dream together  
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we've done  
I hope you're proud  
When you look back and see how far we've come  
It was our time to shine  
And nobody could hold us down  
They thought they'd see us fall  
But we, we stood so tall  
And no we won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by  
Remember how we held our heads so high  
When all this world was there for us  
And we believe that we could touch the sky  
Whenever you remember, I'll be there  
Remember how we reached that dream together  
Whenever you remember

Yeahhh, Ooohh

We claimed the brightest star  
And we, we came so far  
And know that we showed them all  
And no they won't forget

Yeahhh

Whenever you remember times gone by  
Remember how we held our heads so high  
When all this world was there for us  
And we believe that we could touch the sky  
Whenever you remember, I'll be there  
Remember how we reached that dream together  
Whenever you remember

Whenever you remember

Ooohh, whenever you remember

I could tell by the look on Tommy's face he knew it was about us. I looked away embarrassed. He grabbed my hand and my head whipped back to face him.

Tommy: It's really nice. I like it.

Jude: Thanks.

Just incase you didn't know I have the worst luck in the world. Just then Adam came in. I was horrified and Tommy looked at me confused. Adam looked furious. I looked at Tommy and pushed his hand away and stood up immediately. Adam walked over to us steaming. I swear you could see smoke coming out of his ears like in those cartoons. Finally Tommy caught on that I never told Adam.

Jude: Adam, it's not what it looks like. He was just helping me with a song. That's all.

Adam: Why didn't you tell me about your little meeting today huh?

Jude: It's not like it was planned!

That's the first time I yelled at him.

Adam: Don't you raise your voice at me!

Tommy: Hey, cool it, like she said. It wasn't planned. I came by and saw her. She was having trouble with a song and I helped her!

Adam: You stay out of this! Jude! We're going home, now!

I quickly gathered my things. Adam was already half way down the hallway. Tommy grabbed my arm when I was trying to leave.

Tommy: Jude, don't do this. You don't have to listen to him.

Jude: Tommy…

Tommy: No, Jude.

Jude: You'll just get him even angrier.

Tommy: Who cares?

Jude: Let go, Tommy, let go.

He let go of my arm and let me leave. Both of us knew that I meant that in more ways than one. Once I got home I tried to say I was sorry. He wouldn't hit again. He promised he wouldn't.

Adam: So, now you're cheating on me with Tommy?

He said it so calmed that it made me uneasy.

Jude: No, it's not like…

He did it again. He slapped me. Tears started to come.

Adam: I won't be played with Jude. You promised me that you weren't going to see him again!

Jude: I'm sorry.

I started to cry, and my heart was beating faster and faster. He grabbed me by the neck and threw me on the bed.

Adam: You're suppose to love me and only me!

Jude: I don't love Tommy! I love you!

I could hardly talk.

Adam: You're going to regret ever cheating on me, Jude!

He pulled me off the bed my hair and knocked my head on the desk. Then he picked me up and punched me in the stomach and then slapped me again. I was so afraid. He just wouldn't stop. I screamed as loud as I could but no one heard. No one cared. He left me on the bedroom floor. I felt the back of my head and I was bleeding. I couldn't get up. I was numb and broken.

After I took a bath and cleaned myself up I didn't want to come out of the bathroom. Then I heard Adam call my name. Was he ever going to stop? I hesitated before answering.

Jude: Yea, I'm in the bathroom.

Adam: When you're done, can you come out here?

Jude: Uh, sure, just a minute.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a bruised lip, a ring around my neck, and a bruise on my face from where he slapped me. It hurt, not just physically but emotionally. I know I should leave him, but I loved him. I couldn't leave. He was the only man that loved me that I could hold on to. I came out of the bathroom. He was standing next to the kitchen counter practicing some kind of speech it seemed. He looked at me and had that same guilty look he had last time this happened. But this time it was a lot worst. He looked at my face and touched the bruise on my cheek. I cringed in pain.

Adam: I'm so sorry. I only did it, because I love you and I don't want to lose you.

I just nodded my head. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. I looked at him surprised.

Jude: What's that?

Adam: Jude, I love you. I love you more than anything. I hope that you feel the same way about me because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Adam went down on one knee and opened the box. A beautiful ring was inside of it. It was a 12-carrot white gold with a perfect cut diamond in the middle and two sapphires on each side.

Adam: Jude Harrison, will you marry me?

Jude: Adam, I…oh, my god.

A smile went across my face and tears of joy came out of my eyes. He stood up and I jumped into his arms.

Jude: Yes, yes, yes! I will! I love you, I love you so much!

Adam: I love you too!

They you go again. Thinking the worst right? You're probably saying _"Jude, you're so stupid. Why didn't you get out of it then? You should've said no." _I thought that if we got married everything would stop. I loved him, what else what I was suppose to do. I was happy. I was getting married to the greatest guy in the world. He only hit me because he cared. So that sounds really stupid and it doesn't make sense. But it made sense to me. At least, back then it did. Oh, sorry, back to my story.

The next day I woke up smiling. I saw Adam sleeping peacefully. I carefully got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Once I faced the mirror my smiled faded. The bruises on my face and neck were still there. I got my make-up bag from the corner of the sink. I took out my cover-up, blush, and foundation. I never wore foundation. Sadie gave it to me one time but I never thought I would need it. The memories kept flashing in my head. I tried to shake it off and think about the only happy memory from that night. Adam Branch asked me to marry him. That smile came back. I saw him in the mirror and he came up behind me and started to kiss my neck.

Jude: Good morning, fiancé.

Adam: How are you, fiancé?

We both laughed and then got ready for the studio. But when we got there Darius had a big surprise for us.

Jude: Tommy's producing me again?

Darius: He's going to be co-producing with Adam.

Jude: But why?

Darius: Both of his artists are on tour and he needs work. So I decided for him to work with Adam.

Jude: Um, I don't think that's such a great idea.

Darius: Why not?

I looked behind me to see Adam and Tommy already yelling and fighting. Darius also saw the scene. I looked at him with a "see what I mean" look.

Darius: I see. But you can get them to work along with each other.

Jude: I don't think…

Darius: Good, now get to work. Time is money.

I walked back to Studio 1 and, like I said, Tommy and Adam were yelling.

Adam: This is outrageous! You set this up somehow didn't you? Just so you can be near Jude!

Tommy: Yea right! Like I want to be stuck with you in a studio all day! I had no choice in the matter!

Jude: Whoa, whoa. Okay, everyone just sit and calm down.

Amazingly they both shut up and sat down.

Jude: Wow, didn't know how much power I had over you two.

Adam: So how's that ring looking?

I held up my hand and looked at it.

Jude: It could've used a few more diamonds.

Adam: Excuse me?

Jude: I'm just playing babe. I love it. It's lovely.

I leaned in and kissed him. Tommy looked away disgusted.

Tommy: What ring?

Jude: Oh yea, I forgot to tell you. Adam and I are getting married!

Tommy: You're what?

Adam: We're getting married. Is that a problem or something?

I knew where this was going so I cut them off. I sat on Adams lap and tried to get them to stop before they started.

Jude: Okay, one rule here. If both of you are producing me, I don't want to hear any fights through my earphones. I need my eardrums. So either you two clean up your act, or I'm not working 'til you do. Kay?

Both Adam and Tommy nodded in agreement. I got my guitar and walked into the booth. I sat on the stool and opened up my journal.

Adam: Okay, superstar, let's see what you've got.

I looked at my notebook. I didn't know which one to sing. Both meant so much to me. It was either Whenever You Remember or the new one I Just Can't Live a Lie. I looked between Tommy and Adam. They looked at each other in confusion.

Adam: Is something wrong?

Jude: Um, no. Sorry. I have a new song.

Tommy: Do you want us to record?

Jude: No, just listen.

_Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you  
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier  
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange  
But I can't watch you walk away _

Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?  
And all about the good times that we've been through  
Could I wake up without you every day?  
Would I let you walk away?

No, I can't learn to live without  
And I can't give up on us now

Oh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?  
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy  
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe  
The way you know just what I mean

No, I can't learn to live without  
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now

Ohh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Ohh, and I don't wanna try

Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

I just can't live a lie

But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie

Oh, I cant live a lie

When I finished I saw both of them look at me in astonishment. They looked so funny I tried to hide my laughter.

Jude: Um, how was that?

Adam was the first one to snap out of it.

Adam: That was…awesome. So real.

Then Tommy spoke.

Tommy: That was amazing Jude. So much emotion.

Jude: Thank you. I think I'm ready to record it.

Adam: Of course sweetie. But why don't we take a break first. Get some water.

Jude: Alright.

Adam and I walked to hospitality together and left Tommy behind. I looked back at Tommy and stopped.

Jude: Do you want to come to get some water with us?

Adam: Jude.

I whispered in his ear.

Jude: Adam, if we're going to be working with him we need to at least get along.

Adam: Really. You seem to get along with him just fine. I got my proof yesterday.

Jude: Adam, I told you nothing is going on between us.

We were talking out loud now and Tommy could hear us.

Adam: How can I be so sure?

Jude: Who did I say yes to? I love you, not him. He's just, a good producer okay, nothing more.

That's when Tommy got mad and walked out to the alley. I felt really guilty but I didn't let Adam see.

Adam: Fine, I trust you.

Jude: Listen, I'm going to go and talk to Tommy because I don't want him mad at me when we have an album to finish.

Adam: Why don't I talk to him?

Jude: Baby, I love you, but somehow I don't think that's going to work.

Adam: Alright, but be back in like 15 minutes so we can record that song.

I smiled at him. See, I knew things would be different once we were engaged. So I went to the alley. Man did that hold a lot of memories. I saw Tommy looking over the railing. I cautiously walked over to him.

Jude: Hi.

He just looked at me. It was the same look Adam gave me before he hit me.

Jude: Um, I'm really sorry about what I said in there.

Tommy: Sure you are.

He stood up straight now and he still had that look. I backed up a little bit.

Jude: I just said that so Adam wouldn't think anything was going on between us.

Tommy: Right, nothing to worry about right? Because you don't love me.

He walked closer to me.

Tommy: I love you Jude! That's something! When you said that it made me so mad!

He lifted up his hand and I crouched with my hands over my head and began to cry.

Jude: Please don't hit me. I'm sorry, just please don't hit me. I didn't mean it.

I was crying and then I felt him touch my shoulder. I jumped.

Tommy: It's okay Jude, it's just me. It's Tommy. I'm not going to hit you. I would never. Why would you even think that?

I looked up not realizing that my tears were washing off my make-up. He saw a little black on my face.

Tommy: What's this?

He touched my cheek and I winced and turned away.

Tommy: Jude, c'mon, let me see.

I paused before turning back to him. Tommy slowly wiped off the remainder of my make-up. I closed my eyes in pain. When he finally finished he looked at me. Fear was in his eyes and I cried even harder.

Tommy: Jude, tell me he didn't do this to you.

Jude: It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I lied to him. I broke my promise and I shouldn't have. I deserved it.

Tommy: Jude, no. That's not true. No one deserves this. No one should ever hit you.

Jude: He just cares for me Tom. He loves me and is afraid of losing me. He just sometimes gets a little out of hand.

Tommy: Are you even listening to yourself? You need to get yourself out before it's too late.

Jude: Get myself out. Tommy I can't. I love him, I can't just leave him. Didn't you hear my song? I love him too much to leave him.

Tommy: That's not love in your eyes, that's fear. You're scared of what he might do if you leave him aren't you?

I couldn't admit that he was right, could I? I looked into his eyes and he was truly concerned. I don't know what came over me. I guess it was just good to have him there. The look in his eyes was mesmerizing me. I kissed him. It wasn't a long kiss. No tongues included. It was just a nice peck that you would give a friend. But Adam didn't see to that. Bad luck just followed my everywhere. He looked at me and then at Tommy. I didn't even know he was there until he grabbed my arm to pick me up from where I was squatted.

Adam: So, nothing's going on between you, huh?

Jude: Adam, it was just a friendship kiss. Please…

Adam: That's a load of shit!

Tommy: Adam! Let her go! Don't you even think about putting one finger on her!

Adam let go of me and went over to Tommy. They were going to fight if I didn't stop them. I knew Adam, he would hit you and never stop until he was satisfied. I couldn't let him do that to Tommy. I got in between them.

Jude: Stop, it's my fault. I kissed him. Lets just go home and discuss it there.

Adam: Damn right we'll discuss it!

I looked at Tommy.

Tommy: Jude what are you doing?

Jude: Tommy, I might not be here tomorrow. Just remember one thing ok? I love you.

I whispered to him knowing that was the last thing I was ever going to say to him. Adam grabbed my arm and dragged me to the parking lot. On June 22, that was the night I knew I was going to die.

* * *

So how was it? Was it terrible? Did you get any ideas? BecauseI could sure use them hinthint! Review please! 


	4. It Only Gets Worse

For all those people who thought I was going to kill of Jude...c'mon! She's the man character. She's telling you her story. Couldn't do that if she's dead. So she doesn't die in this chapter...but pretty close. Anyways, this chapter was hard to write. I kept changing it over and over again. So i'm kind of stuck. If anyone has any ideas please let me know...because I could use some help...

Disclaimer: Yada Yada Yada...but i do own Ian.

* * *

Chapter 4: It Only Gets Worse

Tommy: Jude!

He yelled after me but we were already in Adams car and he was driving fast. I feared for my life. Not in the car, when we finally reached the house. I stepped out of the car and he pushed me on my head trying to get me into the house faster. Once the door was shut he grabbed me and pressed me against the wall. Then he started to kiss my neck forcefully and then my lips. This wasn't what I wanted.

Jude: Adam, what are you doing?

Adam: If you want to act like a whore, I'll treat like you one. Now, shut up!

I couldn't believe it. I was getting raped by my own fiancé. I couldn't scream. I lost my voice as he dragged me to the bedroom. He threw me on the bed and started to take off my shirt. I tried to stop him but he ripped it off and snapped my bra in half. I felt his hands roam all over me. I tried to push him off but he was too strong. His touch burned into my skin.

Adam led his own way to my pants and ripped the buttons off. He took them off of me and then my panties. The last thing I remember was him thrusting inside of me and I let out a scream of pain. I blacked out.

I felt dirty. I still remembered his filthy hands all over me. It wasn't supposed to happen to me. But it did, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was curled up in a corner as Adam came towards me again. He was throwing me around for about 10 minutes now. I couldn't move, and he had a knife in his hands. I didn't understand a word that was coming out of his mouth. All I knew was that I was going to die. What a wonderful way to die, huh? Killed by the man you love.

He picked my up by my neck and hung me against the wall. I couldn't breathe. I felt the blade slowly cut the top of my skin as I saw the blood trickle down on the wooden floor. That's when I heard the door slam open and he dropped me. I was so out of breath and I hit my head. My vision was becoming blurring. I heard Adam yelling, as he was getting dragged out of our house by some people in blue uniforms. Soon I saw someone coming towards me and crouching where I was lying. I could hear his voice. It was Tommy.

Tommy: Hold on, Jude, hold on.

The next thing I know I'm at the hospital with one those oxygen things connected to me. I had a cast on my arm, my legs were bandaged up and my head was also. When I woke up I saw a dozen white roses in a vase, my favorite flowers. When I tried to move my hand I couldn't. I looked down and there he was. Tommy, just sitting there with his hand over mine and his head on the bed, sleeping. I smiled and woke him up gently shaking him. He lifted his head and his eyes shot up.

Tommy: Jude, you're awake. You're okay, right? Does anything hurt?

Jude: Tommy, I'm wrapped up in bandages in a hospital room and you just ask me if anything hurts?

Tommy: Sorry. I just want to make sure that you're ok.

Jude: Thanks, I'm fine. The only thing that really hurts is my heart.

Tears started to form in my eyes but I quickly pushed them back.

Tommy put his hand over my stomach and I winced. He quickly pulled it back. I put a blanket over me and lifted up my hospital gown. There was a huge scar going across my stomach diagonally. It was where Adam had cut me. I took his hand and put it over my scar.

Jude: Feel that.

He slowly followed my scar down to my hip as I hissed.

Jude: That's not even near how much it hurts now. Why, Tommy? Why did he do that to me?

Tommy: I don't know Jude. I don't see how anyone could hurt you, or any other poor girl out there.

Jude: He said that he loved me. I thought that he only did it because he cared. Maybe he was just afraid of losing me and the it was my fault that he was mad. That I deserved everything he did to me. It sounds stupid now. How could I have ever been so stupid?

Tommy: You're not stupid. You're not the only one who's ever felt that way.

I just nodded and laid my head back on the pillow.

Tommy: Jude, before you left, you told me something.

I couldn't really remember anything that night. I didn't want to. So I had no idea what he was talking about. I turned my head to him and had a befuddled face on.

Jude: Okay, what did I say?

Tommy: You don't remember?

Jude: Don't remember much of last night. Don't want to.

Tommy: Well, you told me…something.

Jude: Yea, I'm pretty sure I got that through my head. What did I say?

Tommy: You told me…that you loved me.

Tommy had just pushed my panic button. I couldn't believe I actually said that. Then again, I thought I would never see him again so it's understandable. I had to think of an excuse.

Jude: Of course, Tommy. I love you; you're like my big, overprotective, brother.

Phew. I was so proud of myself for keeping a straight face the entire time and not breaking a sweat. I took a breath of relief. But then I saw that hurt in his eyes. Crap! I knew I messed with his heart again. But he messed with mine so many times before. It was time to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Tommy: Oh, so you love me. But you're just not _in _love with me.

Jude: I'm sorry. I wish I could do something to make it better, but I can't.

Actually, I could've. I could've told him the truth, that I really did love him again, that I fell for him again. But I didn't want to get hurt. Now looking back, I know I should've told him. Right then and there, it was the perfect time and I missed it.

Okay, this story is getting a little off track. I'm suppose to be telling you what happened to Adam. Adam got 25 to life for attempted murder. Attempted? I didn't know what they were talking about. Considering how I felt I was already dead. But he wasn't going to get out of jail for a while. So, again, a few weeks went by, and Tommy became my producer again. It was all great. I moved in with Sadie and Kwest and helped take care of Austin who had just turn 3. I wore a smile all the time. Everyone thought I was happy again, but I wasn't. It wasn't because of Adam, Tommy, or Stuart. At the hospital, I found out something. Privately they told me that I was pregnant, and that I had leukemia. Oh yea, big shock. I told Sadie and Kwest that I was pregnant, but no one knew about my illness. No one needed to know.

How my world became this web of troubles and hurt, I don't know. It just got worst as it went along. I didn't even know who I was anymore. I am adoptive so my last name definitely wasn't Harrison. A lot of people asked Sadie and me why we didn't look for our real parents. I didn't think if it was worth it. Why would I want to meet someone that gave up? So I decided to leave it alone. I tried to keep my pregnancy a secret, but it's hard when your sick every morning and your stomach starts to get a little bigger. Tommy was horrified that I was having Adam's baby. Not like I planned it or anything. But he helped me get through it. I remember one time we were at the studio, and I was about 4 months along. Tommy was being such a sweetheart to me.

Tommy: So how's the soon to be mom?

Jude: She's doing fine. I'm actually starting to show.

Tommy: I can see that. You know Jude, if you want, I can help you take care of this baby. I mean, I know you have Kwest and Sadie, but they have their own to deal with. So if you ever need an Uncle Tommy, I'll always be around.

Jude: Tommy, that's sweet. Maybe I will need an Uncle Tommy.

But like it always does, it just got worse. I went to the doctors with Tommy and Sadie. Something was wrong with the baby. I found out that I had a miscarriage. It broke my heart. I didn't come out of my room for days. I just sat there hoping I would die. People tried to comfort me but it wasn't doing any good. I turned my cell phone on one day and I had 37 missed calls all from Tom Quincy. Why couldn't he care that much when we were together? I couldn't take all of this. I had to get out. I hated life. That's probably when I had my mind set on cutting. I remember learning about girls that did that. I thought it was so stupid. That it didn't do any good. But boy was I wrong. When I felt that pain, it was like a stress reliever. I loved it. The pain from that knife took away the pain from life. I had a box filled with letters and old birthday cards. Under all of the mess was a party bad and in there was my razor blade knife. I would take it out and cut. It had become my best friend for a couple of months.

I finally got an apartment of my own. The only one available was right across from Tommy's. He moved out of our house and got an apartment after we split up. Of course his apartment looked more like a condo. Guess you're wondering how I know that. Tommy and I became like brother and sister. We would look out for each other and comfort each other. We even had movie night every Saturday. I would go over his place or he would come over mine. We saw one another everyday. It was so hard to look at him though. Even when we were laughing I saw the hurt in his eyes and the love that he had for me. One night it just got too much and I went for the knife again. It was at 2:00 in the morning. No one would see me then right? Tommy just came back from the studio working on a new artist and he decided to stop by and see how I was doing.

So he opens the door and I find myself holding a razor to my skin on my living room floor as the blood trickles out of my veins. That wasn't such a pretty sight. He stayed over my place and we talked about how this all started.

Tommy: So that explains all the bracelets and wristbands you were wearing?

Jude: Yeah.

Tommy: Why Jude?

Jude: Because…because every time I think my life is on track again, something else goes wrong. Then when I lost the baby, it just became too much. That was the only way I could get out it seemed.

Tommy: Jude, it might feel good for a second or so. But then all that pain just comes back. The only way to get rid of it is to talk to someone. Talk to me, you can always talk to me, about anything.

Jude: Anything?

Tommy: Yes.

I wanted to tell him about my illness. I wanted to tell him that I loved him and how much I needed him. I guess 2 out of 3 isn't bad. But it didn't come out the way I was thinking. It came out in a friendship way.

Jude: Tommy, I'm so glad you're here. I love you and I need you. You're my best friend. I couldn't handle this without you. Thank you, for always being here.

Tommy: No problem.

He kissed me on my cheek and took the knife away. That's the last time I cut. It sounded stupid when I told Tommy about it. Like when I told him about Adam. Tommy made me come to my sense more than once. But on January 5th, no one could stop me. I ran away. I got released from my label because I wasn't making them any money. So I couldn't sing anymore. Sadie moved to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and didn't even say good-bye. I hadn't seen Tommy in days and I didn't know where he was. Everything was swirling around in my head. I needed to talk to him. I heard him come in around 11:30 that night. I was so happy so I went across to his apartment to talk to him. Imagine my surprise when I saw that same brunette he had cheated on me with on his lap making out. The sudden burst of the door startled them and Tommy looked at me with surprise and guilt. So I ran away.

I didn't know where I was running to, but I knew it was a hell of a lot better than it was back there. I wanted to look back, but I knew that if I did I wouldn't have the strength to keep going. I slept on the streets for weeks. One night I stayed in an alley way and I was staring at the stars wondering what I had gotten myself into. An old man came and sat next to me. I didn't think much of it. I was wearing belly shirt tank top since it was about 88 degrees outside (I brought a bad of clothes and money with me). He started to stare at my stomach. I looked at him then down at my permanent scar. I covered it up quickly.

Old Man: That's one hell of a scar you got there.

Jude: Yea, I know thanks.

Old Man: What'd you do? Fall off a bike or something?

Jude: Um, no. My boyfriend use to beat me. This is the scar he left so I wouldn't forget.

Old Man: I see. So he threw you out in the streets?

Jude: No, I did that on my own. I ran away.

Old Man: Why'd you do that?

Jude: Because, I felt like it was the right thing to do at the time.

I was getting a little irritated.

Old Man: Why, did you see you're boyfriend cheating on you or something?

Jude: Do you always ask so many questions to a complete stranger?

Old Man: Sorry. My name is Ian.

Jude: Jude.

Ian: Now we're not strangers.

I smiled at him and looked back up at the stars. He looked with me.

Ian: Beautiful aren't they?

Jude: Yea. At my old apartment I use to sneak up on the roof with my best friend. We used the fire escape stairs and it led straight the balcony. We would just watch them come out at night and think about what the future held for us.

Ian: I know, it's probably none of my business, but tell me, do you really think its better out here?

Jude: Anyplace is better.

Ian: I'm telling you girl, it may seem like that now, but it's going to get worse. Go home now.

Jude: What if I don't have a home to go to? I'm already dying.

Ian: Excuse me?

Jude: I have leukemia. I haven't responded to any of the treatments.

Ian: I see. Well you're welcome to come along with me.

Jude: Where are you going?

Ian: Everywhere and anywhere. I travel through all of this. I see you have a guitar with you too.

Jude: Yes, um, I sing and play.

Ian: Perfect. We can get some money off of that. For now, lets sleep and see what tomorrow holds for us.

Jude: Goodnight.

Ian: Goodnight.

Ian was a great man. We went around and collected money and had a great time together. He died in his sleep 3 weeks later, and I was on my own again.

* * *

So...was it totally awful? I hope not. Again, I'm stuck...so please give me some ideas! I NEED THEM! um...yea...review please! 


	5. A Miracle

Hey peeps! Well, I finally updated. You have no idea how hard it was to do this chapter. But I need to thank Can't Stand The Heat for this idea. Honey, you're idea will come in the next chapter I swear! Thanks for all your wonderful reviews. I'll try to update Flashback as fast as I can. On with the story...

Disclaimer: Really, if I owned Instant Star Jommy would've happened a LONG time ago!

* * *

Chapter 5: A Miracle

I wrote more songs and I went and slept in alley ways. I couldn't believe I let it go this far. Ian was right. I should've just gone home when I had the chance. I thought it was too late and I was feeling weaker by the minute. I didn't have the strength. I didn't even know if I was in Toronto anymore, let alone Carson Hill. I knew I was being stupid; running away never did any good. I missed my family. I missed Tommy. How could he do that? He said that he loved me and he goes with that girl again. That little slut! Then I started to think more. I never returned that love. I told him that I loved him but only as a friend. Maybe Tommy wasn't hurting me, maybe I was hurting myself. I was so afraid to tell him what I felt that he couldn't wait for me. I finally understood. Now I just wished I could go home, but I didn't know where it was.

The next morning I decided to figure out where I was. I was hungry and feeling weak. My head started to spin. I leaned on a brick wall next to me and held my head in my hands. I waited until my vision got clearer. Once the dizziness stopped I saw something familiar, extremely familiar. _'Yes!' _I thought to myself when I saw my rehearsal space. I ran to it but suddenly stopped. I felt sick, like I was about to throw up. I saw someone coming out of my rehearsal space. Then they came running to me. I saw that it was Tommy. He ran over to me and picked me up and I returned his embrace. Tears were falling down both of our faces. He put me down but still didn't let go. I had to hold him, I felt safe with him.

Tommy: Jude, don't you ever do that to me again. Do you hear me? Never again!

Jude: Oh, Tommy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've missed you so much.

We were crying together and it felt good. But just like I said, when things start getting better, there's another trap waiting for us. I suddenly couldn't breathe. I lungs were compressed. I let go of Tommy.

Tommy: Jude?

Jude: Tommy, Tommy, I can't breathe. Tom, what's happening?

Tommy: Jude!

My life was in danger. I knew it, once I hit that wet, cold, cement. I woke up in the hospital and there again, Tommy was by my side holding my hand. Except this time he was awake.

Tommy: Hi.

Jude: Hi there.

Tommy: How are you feeling?

Jude: As good as can be expected. What happened?

Tommy: You collapsed. It was caused by your Leukemia.

I looked away from him.

Tommy: Jude, why didn't you tell me?

I looked at him and I tried to open my mouth to speak but no words came out.

Tommy: Jude? We're best friends. You didn't even tell Sadie who is worried sick about you right now.

Jude: I…I didn't mean to scare anyone. I just…didn't want anyone to worry about me.

Tommy: Why not?

Jude: I thought I could handle it on my own.

Tommy: We talked to the doctor Jude. He said that he offered Chemo Therapy and you never showed up. There's more to this. You can trust me.

Jude: Can I really Tommy?

Tommy: Jude, don't do this to me please. Just tell me. Why were you risking you're life?

Jude: Because I didn't want to have a life!

I didn't notice how load I said that until I saw nurses outside the door looking at me. I then looked over at Tommy who had his head down.

Tommy: This is my fault. If I hadn't caused you so much pain, none of this would've happened.

Jude: Tom, hey, look at me.

I lifted Tommy's head up to reveal tears that were falling down his cheek.

Jude: You didn't cause this illness. It would've happened no matter what. You weren't causing me pain. I was causing myself pain. I hid my feelings and my life from everyone. No one knew what was going on. Don't you ever blame yourself. If anything you helped me get pass most of this, and I want to thank you.

Tommy: You're…

I didn't give him time to finish. I kissed him on the lips. Not hard, but soft. Still full of emotion and passion. We finally pulled apart.

Tommy: Welcome.

I laughed. He just had to finish his sentence. He smiled and kissed me again, then embraced me.

Jude: I love you Tom Quincy.

Tommy: I love you Jude Harrison.

That was April 13. The day I finally admitted my feelings to Tom Quincy.

I had to stay at the hospital and they were going to run the Chemo on me. Apparently I turned 21, but I didn't really know most of the dates. That's when I lost track of time and dates. Sadie and I were talking and we heard a knock on the door. Stuart was standing in the doorway.

Sadie: Dad?

Stuart: Hey girls. I want to talk to you.

He took a seat and I saw Sadie roll her eyes and looked at me. I gave her the yea-I-know look. He took one of the chairs and took a seat next to Sadie.

Stuart: Hey, honey, how are you feeling?

Jude: I'm better, Stuart, thanks for asking.

Stuart: Girls, I know that your mom and I should've told you, but we didn't see how it was necessary. We loved you as if you were our own. You are my daughters.

Sadie: That's not the point dad. We deserved to know.

Stuart: I'm sorry.

Jude: We know. Now, I'd like to be alone with Sadie. You may leave now.

Stuart: Right, I'll go now. Bye, I hope you get better.

Jude: Bye.

Sadie: Bye, Stuart.

I stayed in the hospital for…um…dammit! I can't remember, but I know it was a long time. Since they caught the cancer early it was a good chance that I was going to live. Tommy came and visited me everyday. He even sang a song to me that he wrote. It was so sweet.

_Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart_

_It's the end of the world in my mind_

_Then your voice pulls me back like a wake-up call_

_I've been looking for the answer _

_Somewhere_

_I couldn't see that it was right there_

_But now I know what I didn't know_

_Because you live and breathe_

_Because you make me believe in myself_

_When nobody else could help_

_Because you live girl, my world_

_Has twice as many stars in the sky_

_It's alright I survived I'm alive again_

'_Cause of you made it through every storm_

_What is life, what's the use if you're killing time?_

_I'm so glad I found and angel_

_Someone_

_Who was there when all my hopes fell_

_I wanna fly looking in your eyes_

_Because you live and breathe_

_Because you make me believe in myself_

_When nobody else could help_

_Because you live girl, my world_

_Has twice as many stars in the sky_

_Jude: Because you live there's a reason why_

_I carry on when I lose the fight_

_I want to give what you given me_

_Always_

_Both: Because you live and breathe_

_Because you live and breathe_

_Because you make me believe in myself_

_When nobody else could help_

_Because you live girl, my world_

_Has everything I need to survive_

I don't know what it was but that song meant everything to me. We were singing it to each other. I fell asleep so I don't know exactly what happened. But people told me that I was in the hospital and Tommy was there waiting for me to wake up. But something went wrong. The machines I was hooked on went crazy and Tommy was yelling for help. When the doctors came in they sent Tommy out but he was still at the door waiting to see what happened. They didn't know what was wrong with me but then my heart stopped. They announced, "Jude Elizabeth Harrison. Dead at 3:05pm."

Now, I should be 6ft underground right now. But this is what I heard happened. Have you ever heard about those little miracles that happened? You know like on T.V. and everything? How people die for like 10 hours and come back to life? Well, that's what happened to me. I was dead for 15 hours. Don't ask me how it happened. I don't know what happened and why I wasn't in a body bag already. But I did have a sheet over me. I woke up and all I saw was white. I screamed because I had no idea where I was. I kicked the sheet off of me and sat up. I was in a big room with bodies all around me. I screamed again. Then that's when doctors came in and saw me.

Doctor 1: She's alive? She's alive!

I had no idea what they were talking about?

Doctor 2: I can't believe it. How did this happen?

Doctor 1: It's a miracle.

Jude: Okay, where am I? What happened?

After they filled me in on everything the press had a field day. The headlines read "Jude Harrison: A Miracle", "Jude Harrison: Back from the Dead." It was crazy. Everyone was there, including my mom who was living in Europe for the past 4 years. I even forgave my dad. Yes, my dad. I was so glad everyone was there to greet me, but there was one person missing.

Jude: Sadie, where's Tommy?

Sadie looked like she didn't want to tell me. I could tell something was wrong.

Sadie: Um, I don't think he's coming.

Jude: Oh, well, is he going to meet me when I come home tomorrow.

Sadie: Jude, he was there, when you "died".

She put her two fingers up to make the quote things.

Sadie: He came running into me and Kwest's apartment crying and screaming "She's dead, she's gone." He broke down and we tried to comfort each other. He stayed at our apartment that night and we didn't see him in the morning. We have no idea where he is. We haven't heard from him since.

Jude: Did you check his apartment?

Sadie: No. Everyone's been too busy with you. I'm sure his ok. He just hasn't read any of the tabloids or newspapers.

Jude: Tomorrow, we'll go and visit him. Maybe I should call him.

Sadie: We tried but he's not answering. But we'll go tomorrow to his apartment.

The next day I was so excited to finally come home. I went to my apartment and looked at the x-rays again and again. No more cancer. It was gone. After I put my stuff away and cleaned for a bit I went across the hall to Tommy's. I knocked on the door but no one answered. I tried again and then called out his name. I jiggled the doorknob and found it was unlocked. Once I entered there was a strong stench of whiskey. I cringed at the smell. I looked around and called out his name again. I saw the bottles on the tables and broken ones on the floor.

I kept looking around wondering what had happened. I went into the rec room he had in the back. That's when I saw him.

Jude: No.

* * *

Soooooo...how was it? Totally awful? Tell me in a review please! MWAHS! You guys keep me going! 


	6. That's My Story

Okay...sad to say...but this is the last chapter of my story. Yep...that's it...no more. sniffles It took me a while to update because my computer wasn't working the way I wanted it to. But finally it worked. So here's the last chapter and I hope you like it. Thank you for all the reviewers who stuck with me through the whole story. I appreciated!

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or the song White Lines.

* * *

Chapter 6: That's My Story 

There was Tom Quincy, the love of my life. His body was laid across the floor with a whiskey bottle in his hand. I ran to him.

Jude: Baby, baby wake up. Come on wake up. Baby, can you hear me? Oh, god.

I held his hand, it was still warm. He was still alive. I felt a paper-like item in his hands. I took it out and saw it was a picture of me. I started to cry and took my cell out of my back pocket. I called the ambulance right away hoping that it wasn't too late.

I paced around the room Tommy was in. It was about 2 days he was in. Right…oh forget about it. I'll never figure out the dates. All I know is that it was a long time. I just got out of the hospital so naturally I didn't want to come back in. But I had to. I had to be there for him like he was there for me. I was getting restless. I took the seat and scooted near his bed and sat on it Indian style. I stared at him intently. Like staring at him would wake him up somehow.

Jude: Come on baby. You have to fight this. You can make it through.

He didn't budge. I put my hand in his and started humming the song he sang to me when I was in his position. But then another song came out from my voice.

_I tried to tell you, I've got to get away_

_I try to tell you, I need my space_

_I got to get, some distance in between_

_My heart and my head_

_I'm on the razor's edge_

_I've been here before_

_I know the way_

Tommy's hand started to move. My eyes went wide.

Jude: Tommy?

I started to sing again.

_White lines_

_And headlights in my eyes_

_White lines_

_I'm ready to drive all night_

_White lines_

Now his head was moving. I started to smile. I called one of the nurses in.

Nurse: What is it honey?

Jude: He's waking up.

Nurse: What?

Jude: Yea, look.

_How many 'til I'm in your arms_

_White Lines will bring me…home_

He moved his hand and held on tighter to mine. The nurse looked shocked but overjoyed. She probably never saw anything like this. She went out to get the doctor. Once they came back in she told me to keep singing.

_I held you in, my arms last night_

This time he groaned a bit.

_I dreamed we were, riding on a star_

_I kissed you and the sun began to shine_

The doctor was amazed as he looked between Tommy and I. Then Tommy's eyes fluttered open and he whispered my name.

Jude: Yes, I'm here. I'm right here.

He looked so weak.

Tommy: Jude? Jude!

He shot up from his bed that he almost through me off balance by surprised.

Tommy: What, what are you doing here? You're dead, I saw, I heard what they said.

Jude: No, I came back to life.

Tommy: How?

Tears were coming out of his eyes and it was making me teary.

Jude: I don't know it just happened.

Tommy: God, I thought I lost you forever. I…oh, my god!

He pulled me closer and we hugged. We just held on to each other never wanting to let go. We were both crying so much that I swear we could've drowned the place. The doctors and the nurses made sure everything was ok with him and I drove him home. I opened the door to my apartment and let him in. We both sat on the couch.

Jude: Ever do that to me again Quincy and I'll put you into the hospital myself.

Tommy: I'm sorry.

Jude: Why would you do something so stupid?

Tommy: I was so heartbroken. I couldn't live anymore, not really anyway. So I got some whiskey to ease the pain. But once I wasn't drunk anymore it came back. So I drank more and more. I couldn't stop.

Jude: Tommy, I love you.

Tommy: I love you too.

That's when he leaned in and kissed me. Once my brain went into work I deepened the kiss. It got more and more intense. He pushed me down on the couch gently and put his hands on my waist. His tongue touched my bottom lip hoping for access and I let him explore. His hands started to move up my shirt and flashes of Adam came into my mind. When I opened my eyes I saw his face and heard his voice saying _'You know you want it. You know you want me!' _I quickly broke this kiss and pushed Tommy off of me. I was breathing rapidly and hard. I could tell Tommy saw the fear I had.

Tommy: What's wrong?

Jude: I'm sorry. I can't. Not now.

Tommy: I'm sorry I didn't mean to push you into anything.

He put his hands on my shoulder and I shuddered and stood up from the couch. I was scared I didn't know what else to do. I kept thinking about Adam. What he did to me that night. It was so unforgettable and it kept flashing in my head. Voices started to come into my mind. They kept telling me to cut, to kill myself. They said I didn't deserve Tommy. That I should die. I slumped to the floor and covered my ears telling them to stop. That's when Tommy got extremely scared. Next thing I knew people in black suits came to take me away.

Woman: So, from my records it says you stayed there for about 8 months and you made a full recovery.

Jude: Yep. But I still felt like I needed to talk to someone.

Woman: Well I have to say that you had a tough life. But you made it through.

Jude: Thank you Dr. Wolf.

Dr. Wolf : You know this is our last session together after 2 years.

Jude: I know, I'm going to miss you.

Dr. Wolf: I'll miss you too.

Someone knocked on the door and a little girl with light brown hair and ice blue eyes came in.

Girl: Mommy, can I come in?

Jude: I don't know, can you?

Girl: May I?

Jude: Yes, come on in Anastasia.

Asia: I told you, call me Asia. Anastasia is too long.

I laughed as Asia came up to me and Dr. Wolf who was behind the desk.

Asia: Hi, Dr. Wolf.

Dr. Wolf: Hi. I heard you just celebrated your 5th birthday last week. Congratulations. You want a piece of candy?

Asia: Yes, please!

Dr. Wolf handed her a blow pop and she took it gratefully. That's when Tommy came in.

Tommy: Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt but is she free to leave now?

Dr. Wolf: Of course. I hope you have a wonderful life Mrs. Quincy.

Jude: Thank you so much…for everything.

I stand up and go up to Tommy and place my hand in his as Asia runs up a little bit further with the lollipop in hand. Married for 7 years. Tommy and I are married for 7 years with a beautiful daughter. After I got out of that nuthouse we went into marriage. Everything was going great. Nothing went wrong. Everything was great. Of course, at least for now.


	7. Author's Note The Sequel

Hey,

I'm sorry but I totally forgot to tell you guys something very important about this story. IT'S NOT OVER! lol! I'm writing a sequel and trying to convince Erin Mckinley to co-write with me. So once I find out her answer I'm going to get started on it right away. So look out for it. In the mean time I'm going to be writing some oneshots but I'm kind of stumped. So if any of you have any challenges for me or any ideas let me know. Thanks again for reading! MWAHS!

Lydia


End file.
